I haven't been in a relationship in 14 years. I almost wouldn't know where to begin. I've been out of relationships now as long as I was ever in them. You just wake up one day and you're used to being alone. But I'm OK with that. I have my dogs.
I remember my first crush. The third grade, a girl named Candy. I never really spoke to her. I liked the rush of writing her notes and having them passed to her more than actually talking to her. I didn't have any front teeth, so I couldn't speak too clearly. I was confident on the field, if I had a ball under my arm. But with girls? No way. One of the first girls I went out with was called Leah. I was about 15. She was really nice, but I wasn't used to talking to girls. After taking her out, I was at her house and she says: "Don't you even want to see my tits?" and lifts up her shirt. I stood there petrified. I didn't know what to say to her. All I knew is I wanted to see them again, but she threw me out. I wasn't forward enough. It was not a good beginning.
My grandmother has been the most important woman in my life. I lost her about four months ago, at 99. She was incredibly well read, two books a week her entire life. She taught me the importance of being a gentleman, and how that will carry you a long way. She told me these things a million times, but maybe I didn't listen hard enough. My brother Joe was just as fond of her. He called her four times a day his whole life. Joe died in my arms, but she still carried on speaking to him, via her Ouija board.
I married as a young man to Debra [Feuer]. She was a dancer, and I married the first good-looking girl I thought I'd ever have a chance with. I made it clear that I didn't want to marry an actress, so as soon as her manager started pushing her that way, I was out of the door. I'm an old-school guy. Relationships are about trust, and if you don't have that you've got nothing. Long-distance relationships and young people with movie jobs... well, the temptations are there and you have to have some kind of character to be able to deal with them.
There's definitely something called a casting couch. I did it the old-fashioned way: I went to acting school and broke my ass, studied hard. But if you take a girl from the Midwest with a pretty face, and instead of inviting them in for an audition in the morning, the directors invite them for dinner at night? That's not going to wash in my house. I can recall with certain women, we'd go out, I'd park the car on Sunset, and by the time I'd got to the kerb there'd be three or four producers handing them cards. That kind of thing makes me act a bit like Attila the Hun. There's ways you get a job, and ways you get a job.
When I married Carré [Otis] that was all over the public eye. Her agent used a lot of our drama to try and further her career. Allegations were made [about domestic abuse] that were absolutely not true. Until recently, I have not even denied them. But the way I looked at the time, what was the use defending myself? I was looking at going to prison because I wouldn't plead guilty to hurting her. You do the crime, you do the time, but if you didn't do it, the last thing you're going to do is plead guilty. That hurt my soul and it hurt my pride. It was a secret kind of hurt. A humiliation. We were both damaged goods.
Monogamy? I can't wait. I don't practise it, because I haven't met the one I'd practise it with, but I believe in it absolutely. I'd join that club in a heartbeat.